"Return to Me"

Living in Costa Rica brings God's blessings in ways I couldn't have imagined. It brings opened doors, and a visit to visit a new, but already dear, sister in Christ in a nearby city. It allows the opportunity to worship God with one of few spanish worship bands in Costa Rica.

It's times like these where I'm blown away by God's mercy, for His plans for my life to be revealed, and for His presence to overflow.

In a crowded room, hundreds of voices lifted high, an already beautiful language is made angelic when blended in praises to the King, I'm reminded of the promises of Heaven. I'm reminded of the glory that awaits me where I get to spend eternity singing "alabanzas" (praises) to the Creator of the stars.

When overwhelmed with passion for my almighty Father, arms stretched high, and voice hoarse from crying out, I dare ask Him a favor.. I dare ask Him to fill me up. Fill me up with His Spirit, and His love. His compassion, and His desire for others to know Him. I dare ask this of the God of the universe... The maker of my heart, the one who gave it all so I might live. I dare ask a favor from One who has already given me everything, and yet, owed me nothing.

And He loves me enough to respond.

And when He does, it's not in the way I expect, but in His perfect way.. Always in His perfect will which is never one I can imagine in my feeble mind.

He tells me, "Get on your knees", and I shrink down, in reverence to my most high Father, obedient to His call, to worship with my face on the ground, as this is what I am worthy of.

"I will fill you, but I need to empty you first."

These unexpected words send the body into uncontrollable sobs. The truth that had been tucked away now spills itself onto the floor like the saltwater streaming down burning cheeks.

You abuse His love.. You read your Bible to gain knowledge for acceptance in the eyes of men.. Your pride is so strong, you judge others for what you excuse yourself from.. You've trampled His love-letters and have been waiting for another to write better.. You want happiness for others as long as it entails happiness for yourself.. You think you can earn grace.. You don't trust that He can use you.. You're lost.


The thoughts pour like sands in the hourglass, jumbled together, failures, and worries, and disappointments alike. Until I can't grasp any of them, and I release the fists that have been clenched so tightly to release these traps of the devil. Things of the flesh that rip me away from my Savior and don't allow me to see His plan for my life. Things that don't allow me to see what He sees in me, a lost and broken lamb, seeking mercy from my God.. Seeking love my Daddy.. Acceptance from my Friend. He is all of these, and more. And with my face to the ground, and my palms facing upward I hear him whisper, ever so gently..

"You're my daughter, and no matter how much you despise my name, I've already given my only son so you can be forever mine. I will be here with arms open wide when once again you realize your need for Me. Return to me.. my nail-scarred hands are stretched wide."