IBS-His Banner Over Me is Love

Sept. 29, 2011

Psalm 23:5

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.

With this verse my mind is brought to Song of Solomon 2:4; "He brought me to His banqueting table. His banner over me is love". The classic hymn echoes in my head. Funny how just yesterday, while cleaning the administration building during servant time, Kelly was singing this very song. I had joined her, joyfully recollecting the pleasant tune. How marvelous God's banqueting table must be. I bet it's filled with only the most delicious foods, and surrounded by the most captivating people. And to think God prepares all of this amidst enemies. Among the ones who are most adamant about being against Him, the ones who tear me down, rip me apart, shove me on my face and cause me to stumble. When I am at my lowest, God is preparing me a place of peace, rest, contentment at His table with Him. In the middle of these trials He anoints us with His Holy Spirit. Not only does He have a safe haven at the end of these troubles, but in the middle of them He provides a comfort, a guide. My cup truly does run over. I am so undeserving of all of the blessings I have: the Holy Spirit, and a Father who knows what's best for me, and what awaits me when the day is done. I have done nothing to attain what I have been given, and so truly, my cup is not only full, but I live abundantly in Him. 

I want to live, as Pastor Steve quoted Warren Wiersbe Tuesday night at chapel, with heaven as a motivation, not simply a destination, for I know I am overly blessed, and still my Father prepares for me a seat at His table because "His banner over me is love."

IBS-He is With Me

Sept. 28, 2011

Psalm 23:4

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

The valley of the shadow of death. The place where evil dwells, the depths of despair where when one is there, they believe they're alone and God has deserted them. Relating to my own life, the closest I have ever been to this place is durning the points of despair where I have cried out to God, accusing Him of desertion. But He is with me. No matter where I am. Omnipresent. Not only is He present, but He holds the rod: protection, and the staff: guidance. He doesn't simply walk beside me through the valleys, but He is there with mechanisms for survival. In Him, death cannot flourish, for He is life. Anything that even compares to the valley is diminished in His glory and presence.

I want to remember, when I am at my lowest that my Savior has never abandoned me. Today I am going to memorize this Psalm.

IBS-Restored

Sept. 27, 2011

Psalm 23:3

"He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

My life is a roller coaster ride of happiness, sorrow, joy, and despair. When I find my relationship with God faltering, if I haven't been in constant prayer, or my devotionals begin to get a little lax. My spirits sink, knowing I need time with my Lord. It's at these moments when I find myself on my knees, begging for forgiveness. He tenderly reminds me that all is forgiven, and a peace settles within me. He restores my soul. Although these times are when I feel like I have drifted away from the Lord He continues to walk by my side. He leads me in paths of  righteousness. In Him I cannot stumble or fall. I am lifted from the ashes. For Him, with Him, and through Him do I live, to make His name great. 

I desire to spend more time in the Word. I want to read my Bible, having devotions before I go to bed, as well as when I rise every morning. Meditating on His word day and night.

IBS-No Wants

Sept. 26, 2011

Psalm 23:1-2

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters."

Above everything, God is in control. Because He takes care of everything I don't have anything more to gain. I should have nothing more I desire, and nothing I long for. There's ultimately nothing to worry about. So why do I doubt that He will lead the way and that way will be beside still waters? "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) I'll admit, I don't have that kind of faith. I doubt God sometimes. I doubt that He will bring me peace until I am actually at the place where the grass is green and waters calm. Like to the nobleman in John 4 who wanted Jesus to heal his sick son, Jesus says to all of us, "Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will by no means believe." (John 4:48). God knows me so well :) This is how my mind works. I have no idea how I am going to attain the $4,000 I still need for the rest of my time in this program, and I fear burdening Potter's Field to pick up the slack of  providing the money I do not have. God knows all of this, and I am promised that things will work out: "And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28). I need to have faith that God will bring in the money I need. I want to continue to serve, love and get to know God every day, to trust in His wonders before they have even occurred, so I can be confident He will lead me where the grass is lush. 

I am going to pray for God to reveal to me the way in which I can obtain the remaining money for my trip, to have complete faith that He will provide, and know that everything will work out because I love Him. 

IBS-Accomplished

Sept. 23, 2011

Isaiah 55:10-11

"'For as the rain comes down, and the 

snow from heaven,

And do not return there,

But water the earth,

And make it bring forth and bud,

That it may give seed to the sower

And bread to the eater,

So shall My word be that goes forth

from My mouth;

It shall not return Me void,

But it shall accomplish what I please,

And it shall prosper in the thing for

which I sent it.'"

The word of God provides all the nourishment to our souls that we desire. It is bread when we're hungry. It is rain to our dry crops. It is constant, and sure. It never ceases to give us what we need, and yet we seek counsel from elsewhere. We try things our own ways and end up finding out that, yes, God knows best. If we had just read this verse, or sought God on that subject, we probably wouldn't put ourselves through half of the struggles that we suffer through. God's word does not return void. What He ordained for it to do, will happen. Not only that, but God promises it will prosper in the ways in which He sent it. The only thing that will truly help. My advice to others is so minimal. It can only reach so far, and accomplish so much. When God's word does everything He intended for it to do.

If anyone seeks me for advice, I long to point them toward God's word, and not tell them something from my own knowledge alone. I aim to address verse references, and stories in the Bible to anyone who needs encouragement or a good word because I know it will go farther than anything I can do for them.

Verse of the day: "Depart from me all you workers of iniquity; For the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; The Lord will receive my prayer." Psalm 6:8

IBS-"My Ways are Higher"

Sept. 22, 2011

Isaiah 55:9

"'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

First my thoughts aren't God's thoughts.. And now He's giving this fact emphasis? Alright, note taken. His thoughts are far beyond anything I can comprehend, His ways are much higher than my ways. What He deems possible, is. I suffer with self-doubt. I'm not good enough to be in the ministry God. I can't handle this situation, I don't have the strength. I don't have the right words to say to this hurting person, I'm not the person for the job. The list goes on.. A never-ending trail of incompetence. I thank God His ways are higher than mine, because if my God were one who doubted His ways, then we'd all have a problem. I am always reminded of His strength and His power, how much higher His thoughts are than mine, when He tells me I can do what He has planned. It's that much better when His ways are made complete, and He uses me, this empty vessel, worth nothing on it's own, and fills it with His expensive ointment, His knowledge, His ways.

Again, as we began IBS, I am reminded of God's thoughts, so much higher than mine. Yesterday I decided to memorize a new verse. To memorize the verse I write it daily, on my arm. A constant reminder to memorize my verse for the day. Olivia, looking over my shoulder, stated, "Be angry..?" as she read it, I furrowed my brow, "No, that's not what it says.." looked down to see that's exactly what it said. I had began to write a different verse I had underlined, subconsciously. "Oops.. I guess that was God doing that.. Maybe I'll need this verse today instead," I laughed, thinking, How odd, I'm not mad in any way at anyone.. Later when IBS began, Pastor John dubbed me leader of the Costa Rica group. As leadership is not something I am confident in, I was hesitant to step up and take charge. Karlee, being a natural leader, stepped up without a second thought and pointed out my insecurity. I felt the little authority I had and with the lack of confidence in it, I had just been undermined. A burst of anger shot to my throat, and it took a moment of Psalm 4:4 flashing through my mind to remind me to stay calm. I was frustrated, and distraught, and it took God's works, in His own way, for me to stifle my own desires of snapping and staying collected. Thank you, Jesus! (Don't you fret, ye readers.. Karlee and I discussed this incident later, clearing up any confusion, and frustration the situation had caused. Thank you for sisters through the blood of your son, God! :) )

I need to be slow to speak, slow to anger in defense of feeling incompetent. I want to, when I notice anger arising, stop and meditate on who God is making me to be, and not on the person who I think I am. 

Verse of the day: "Be angry and do not sin. Meditate within your heart , on your bed and be still. Selah." Psalm 4:4

IBS-"Your Ways are Not My Ways"

Sept. 21, 2011

Isaiah 55:8

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways," says the

Lord."

God is God and I am not. For this, I am incredibly thankful. I would never, in my power be able to do a smidgen of what God does. Actually, I can't do anything without His Spirit guiding me the entire way, so I know without a doubt that I can't do anything. This is the overall reality, but my flesh sometimes tries to convince me otherwise. It allows the devil to whisper that the actions I am doing and the thoughts I am thinking are the right ways, even when they contradict what God has ordained. When I act off of my own judgements, I know they are not what I should be doing, for I should be seeking the Kingdom of God and all other desires will fade away.. 

I want to, every day, memorize a verse that really speaks to me in my devotional. I want to have God's ways imprinted on my heart, so I don't in any way try to do anything by my own  judgement but follow His commands. 

Verse of the day: Proverbs 3:11-12 "My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor detest His correction. For whom the Lord  loves He corrects, Just as a father, his son in whom he delights."

IBS-Running into His Arms

Sept. 20, 2011

Isaiah 55:7

"Let the wicked forsake his way,

And the unrighteous man his thoughts;

Let him return to the Lord,

And He will have mercy on him;

And to our God,

For He will abundantly pardon."

Oh God, take me back. Take me back even though I neglect you so constantly, and selfishly!  I yearn to know you more, Lord! I am returning to you! Your servant longs to spend time in your presence, and glean from your knowledge and wisdom my Father. I am so undeserving.. I am on my knees, once again, begging for forgiveness and pardon. You pick me up. You cradle me in your arms as I weep uncontrollably. I am unable to contain my thankfulness and praise for You, and You alone, Lord. How amazing that You want me to know You more, to know the love You have for me.. You want me to know You and to know that I am Yours. Thank you for filling the gap that sin created, giving such a large sacrifice so that I am able to sing and shout with Glory to my Savior with no fear of death or the grave!

I am running into the arms of my Savior.. He has been waiting for me. 

Proverbs 2:3-6

"Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding."

IBS-While He is Near

Sept. 19, 2011

Isaiah 55:6

"Seek the Lord while He may be found, 

Call upon Him while He is near."

 I think about how all of the pastors here at Potter's Field emphasize that God isn't any more present than anywhere else at Potter's Field Ranch, just as He isn't more present at a church service, or camp. But yet people always tack onto going to these events as being "more spiritual" and feeling "God's presence closer than ever." But the thing is, God is omnipresent. He is everywhere at all times, never more or less present than anywhere else. So why does Isaiah tell us to "Seek Him while He may be found and call upon Him while He is near"? This made me think.. Does Isaiah think that God is closer sometimes, and distant at other times? Obviously not. Isaiah was a smart guy. A prophet after all. He knew what He was writing seemed to contradict the characteristics of God when taken literally. But he also knew the context in which he wrote them. At church camp, or here at Potter's Field, the mind is cleared of the distractions of this world. It's not that God is any more present, but that our minds, when placed in these settings, are cleared, and we seek God more fervently. Isaiah is calling for us to take the opportunity, when we have a chance to clear our schedule of the outside world, to grab that time, and take hold of it. Use it to quiet the racing mind, and worrisome soul, and look upon Him while we have the chance.

I am hesitant to go back home. This isn't because I don't want to see people I love, the community I grew up in, or drive my car. It's because I have had so much time here on the Ranch to seek God while He was able to be found. This "greenhouse", as you will, has enabled me to experience so many trials, of the spirit and flesh, that with help from my brothers and sisters, I was able to face head on.The people I have been with never allow me to take my eyes off of my Lord and Savior, or to let go of His hand while walking through the fire. When I return home, I know I will continue to face trials, and God will still be with me, but going back to a place where if I start to wander I don't get yanked back, but continue to stray, is a terrifying thought.

I am going to seek God, and call upon Him as often as possible before I leave Potter's Field Ranch. I am going to pray for strength and peace about going home, and for discernment as to handle situations that arise. I don't want the devil to seep in, and steal the last couple weeks I have at this wonderful place, so I am going to seek counsel often, and spend time in prayer, and fellowship with the Lord constantly.

IBS-My Duty

Sept. 16, 2011

Luke 17:10

"'"So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.'"

There is so much tacked onto this life. All of the things of this world, of the flesh, seep their way into our minds, and we must fight it day by day. To do the things which were commanded and nothing else is a difficult task. Most of the time we are distracted by other things, such as lusts and ungodly desires. Trailing away from God's commands to do these things would be much like a servant, commanded to dust the living room, and in the middle of the work, flipping through magazines, or watching television. Countless times have I strayed from God's commands. The catchy covers, or favorite sitcoms draw me away from the work God has commanded of me. To be able to focus solely on the task that lies ahead, and not wander off of the path He has laid for me.

This is what I want for me to be able to say: I have done what was my duty to do. My deepest desire is to rid myself of anything I am, anything of the flesh, anything that might distract me, or pull me from God's will. When each day is done. I want to lay on my pillow, content and at rest with a mindset that I have done nothing for profit. I have merely done what the Lord has asked of me, nothing more or less. 

IBS-Motivation

Sept. 15, 2011

Luke 17:9

"'Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not.'"

We don't deserve thanks for what we do. So why do we expect it? Because we think we do. Jesus, stating that the servant doesn't receive thanks for what they do, makes it clear that this is normal. Most of the time I do things, expecting praise for my hard work or "sacrifice" we've made by doing the task. I shouldn't need to have that motivation in order to serve or bless others. If we are humble servants of Christ, should we expect to be blessed by Him? I think not. We already owe Him our lives for the sacrifice He paid for us, so if anything, our service should be acts of thanks to Him. 

I want to be content with serving and sacrificing without the mindset that I deserve thanks or to be blessed. I want to make it a habit to do things for my Lord without expecting anything back, or getting upset because no one appreciates what I do. I am going to do something for others this week, anonymously, so I don't receive praise or thanks, or anything in return.

"To God be all the glory, honor and praise, forever and ever, amen."

IBS-Demanding

Sept. 14, 2011

Luke 17:8

"'But will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink'?'"

We're eager to have our needs met. We want God to provide for our every need. God, I need help with this. God, I need strength for that. I find the majority of my prayers to be longing for assistance, or provision from my Father, with thanks or praise just tacked on the end. And yet, what I ask for. when it comes down to it, I don't necessarily need. For all I need is Jesus. All I should want in this life is him. As Pastor John Randall stated last night in his message, Matthew 6:33: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." So if I seek God first, and give Him the praise, glory, and honor that He truly deserves, everything else that I could possibly need or want, He will provide. After all, the whole universe is His: It's not a difficult task for Him to give me anything at all, but He will. He longs to bless us, and all we need to do is seek Him first. And, ultimately, that is all He asks.  

I am going to make all of my prayers today, praise and glory to Him. Instead of asking for things of this life, I want to seek Him first and foremost. I aim to do this, not solely to praise Him for today, but for all eternity. To make sure giving Him the deserved praise becomes a conscious effort, until I, and myself fade away. All glory be to you Jesus, Amen.

IBS-Heart of My Own Heart

Sept. 13, 2011

Luke 17:7

"'And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him, when he has come in from the field, 'Come at once and sit down to eat'?"

"Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, still be my vision, Oh ruler of all." This song echoes in my head as I pray, waiting for, as I told Kayla, "revelation" from the Holy Spirit. This picture that Jesus paints, reminds me of our relationship with the Father. We are the servant, doing His works, for His glory, not personal gain (for we are not workers, but slaves). He is the master. When we are done with the work laid before us,  tired and worn, He says, "Come all you who labor and are heavy-laden and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28). I pertain this as Jesus asking us if we will do as the Father. Are we ones to have compassion on those who do work for us, even those "indebted" to us here on this earth? For our Father is ruler of all, and yet He still has compassion, and gives us what we need. Sometimes I feel as if I won't be able to go on. I feel as if the task before me is never-ending, and I won't be able to continue, to make it another day. But God knows more than I. He alone, knows what all I can handle, what is best for me, for He has a heart of my own heart. He knows me inside and out, and as my loving Father, has my best interests at heart. When the day is done, and I am filled with worry, or worn down He just asks me to come, come in from tending the sheep, 'Come at once and sit down to eat." In the way God cares for us, so Jesus asks us, as servants, to be. 

I want to have faith that at the end of the day, when I have been working, physically and emotionally, that God will give me rest. I am determined to get to bed earlier than I have been, so I can soak up the rest God wants to give me, and be faithful to Him, in everything I do, as He is faithful to me. 

IBS-It Takes Faith

Sept. 12, 2011

Luke 17:6

"So the Lord said, 'If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,'  and it would obey you.'" 

In the previous verse, the disciples ask Jesus, "Increase our faith", and He replied "if you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,'  and it would obey you." A similar response to this question that we still ask, Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 13:5: "Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves." If God blessed me, and just gave me the "faith" to believe  in everything He says He will do, is it really faith at all? God gives us the option to increase our faith. He already did/does the impossible, but it's up to us to believe in Him, what He has done, and what He will do. In His sovereignty, He has already given us the evidence we need to have the faith far larger than a mustard seed, but all He requires is that we simply believe in Him. The rest will come. I see this exhortation of Jesus in the topic of faith, similarly as I see the topic of God's love. If God were to just give us the faith with a snap of His fingers, would we appreciate the faith we were given? Not to put everyone on the same level, some might, but most would not understand the depths of God's love if we simply had it. Just as if we were forced to love God, we wouldn't desire a deep understanding of everything God sacrificed for us, nor would we understand the power of God if we simply believed God would do anything, and we knew without a shadow of a doubt what would happen. In not knowing what is to come, we are placed in the reality, that God is God, and we are not. We don't have the depth of knowledge to comprehend past the surface the good things He has done, and is doing, as well as what He will do in our lives. This growing of our faith is a process, that in order for us to slightly comprehend what He is doing, He allows us to go through things. All the way learning of His perfect way. His perfect plan. His perfect love: giving us, the perfect faith.

When I am faces with trials I want to be willing to face the test. I want to strengthen my faith, and my dependence on God. To show that He really is God, and I am not. To be able to believe in His plan for my life, and trust in Him and His love for me. I want to lay down my future at His feet. To not worry about what I am going to do, but have the faith to know that He will continue to strengthen me, and lead me in this journey, and that His works will be fulfilled through my life. 

IBS-Finally Forgiven

Sept. 10, 2011

Ephesians 4:32

"And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you."

This is something I have been struggling with since I first got here. Forgiveness. Most times I am able to forgive without a second thought, giving reasoning behind another's actions, and seeing eye-to-eye. There is one person in particular though, that for quite some time I have felt bitter against. Whenever I share the story of my afflictions with this person with anyone at the ranch I end up in tears. It has torn me apart from the beginning. This person once had an intense relationship with Christ, leading me to accept Him as my Lord and Savior. For some reason, they seemed to have a fallout, not wanting to talk about the gospel, attend church, or reach others with His love. This has hurt me and many others they know deeply, and we've often expressed our concern for them, with sadness in our hearts. When I was at home, I never thought I could voice the things I've experienced with this person, but since being at the ranch I have learned so much. Some of the trials I have gone through while my short time here have been connected to this denied forgiveness on my part.  From previous IBS verses I have felt conviction of the need to treat this person better, to lift them up, edify them, show them the true love of God, and that His love really is radical, and so worth every part of us.

I want to talk to this person. I can't wait until I return home, and can have a deep talk with them, and pour out what has been on my heart for so long. I want to tell them I forgive them for everything they've done, and apologize for the way I have treated them in my bitterness and refusal of forgiveness. If they are reading this, and they know clearly it's for them, I pray they'll give me a call, so I can talk to them and tell them how much I truly do love them.

IBS-Put it Away

Sept. 9, 2011

Ephesians 4:31

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice."

This seems to be impossible for me. Anger constantly takes hold of my words, and thoughts, especially if someone I'm talking to is "giving me lip". I want to let the "malice" flow and for them to see how they are acting makes me resent them. It's my natural reaction. Unfortunately this is everyone's natural reaction, so if we all succumbed to such things, then we'd all have never-ending arguments that in no way edify the body of Christ. No one would be built up and the selfishness in all of us would flourish (as if we need to give it leeway to do that, it's already spreading without us acknowledging it!). Just as I write this blog I found myself getting rebuked by a fellow intern. In my flesh, I tried to be coy, and rebuke them right back. That's what the devil wanted. And it left both of us feeling awkward and, I know for myself, bitterness to assemble. God wishes us to let these thoughts go. This involves putting yourself away. I am especially convicted of this when I go into my room later that night, and I read, on a note placed on my bed,  "When… your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence. THAT IS DYING TO SELF". I had not been doing that at all, and I don't want my spiteful words to take hold of my actions and create someone who is filled with selfishness.

I want to be able to admit when I let my anger provoke my words. I want to eat a big piece of humble pie with dignity when something arises where I would initially try to "get even" with the things I say. In this way, following God's words of speaking good to my brothers, putting away all bitterness.

IBS-Say "Yes!"

Sept. 8, 2011

Ephesians 4:30

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."

The only other time I have heard the term, "grieve", as it is used here, is regarding our parents. We constantly do things that grieve our parents. We don't do as they ask, we rebel against their commands, we spit in their faces the very rules they've laid out for us to do what we think is better for us. Because we think we know how to run our own lives, and we don't want any "restrictions". It's these times where we turn on our own, and disregard the very ones who love us most that we cause grief. Even more than our parents, the Holy Spirit loves us. He cares for us, and tries to lead us in the right direction with everything we do in our lives. The rules that we are given by God are in the Bible. When we don't ignore it, oppose, or disregard the things God has for us we grieve the Holy Spirit. This is hard to swallow, knowing that all the time I do these things. I constantly neglect God's word, or say "no" to where He's guiding me. In the Bible it says delayed obedience is disobedience. There's another thing I can knock on the head. FAIL. I constantly hesitate to follow the direction of the Lord, and to find out it grieves the very God who gave me life eternally, hits me hard. I think of the other day, on our town run. I felt the Hoy Spirit prompting me to speak to  the lady who was washing her hands next to me in the bathroom. "Okay God, give me the opportunity, and I'll make it happen" I bargained with Him. I was pulling the whole, "Show me and I'll do it" spiel, and sure enough, God answered, "Do it, and I'll show you". Unfortunately, me arguing with God made a lost opportunity as the woman left in a huff after struggling with the paper towel dispenser. I left the bathroom and met up with Joel and Daniel who I had been shopping with earlier, disappointed with myself and the hesitance that lost me a moment to share God with someone. I felt like a failure. "Watch," I told the boys, as they listened to my pathetic groaning, "she's probably like, right behind me". With that I glanced behind us, and gasped. The lady was walking with what looked to be her daughter, pushing their shopping cart. "Talk to her" Daniel prodded. But again, I left the divine appointment in shame and disappointment. I left the Holy Spirit grieved. 

I wish to follow, obediently to the Holy  Spirit's calling on my life. I want to diligently seek God no matter where I am, and listen to Him when He gives me an order. I want to be able to minister without hesitation, especially with the Holy Spirit's prodding. Next time I hear or sense God calling me to minister in that way I want to answer with an immediate "Yes!!"

IBS-No Corrupt Words

Sept. 7, 2011

Ephesians 4:29

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good that for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."

Don't speak of evil things, in general, or toward someone specifically. Only speak of things that will edify others and build up your relationships in Christ. Personally, I think of someone who grumbles and complains about everything. I regret to say that this was exactly how I was before I came to Potter's Field Ranch. I was avid about cleaning my home.I was one who did most of the work, and I wasn't upset about that, for it was the least I could do for my parents. However, I would become upset when my older brother would come home from work, leaving a trail behind him and not contribute to helping keep the house nice. I would grumble and complain, and even would I would ask him to do a  simple task he would neglect it, and I would get angry, and do it for him, grumbling all the way. Since I have  come to the ranch, I have learned about serving with a joyful heart. A huge verse that echoes time and time again in my head is "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as for  working for the Lord, not for men." Whatever I do, I have learned that I am doing it for the love I have for my Father, for I don't deserve even the life I have. I am more blessed than a lot of people I know, and I'm sure when I go to Costa Rica I will be reminded of that all the more.

I need to keep in mind that my Father only wants to bless me, and He knows with what heart I do things. I want to only do things to lift others up in Christ, and bless them. I want to be able to serve without a grudging heart, and be able to bless others as I have been blessed so undeservingly.

Shaylene's Ponderings.. I guess this is my first actual blog!

On the Mount time, September 8th, sitting on the stairwell between the Upper Room and the Coffee shop at Potter's Field Ranch, Montana. I want to write to see what the Holy Spirit has to say to me. Whatever goes across my mind, just to determine where my heart is at this time of day. Looking up at my battery percentage, 44%.. That's only a little under 50% battery power.. Will that last me an hour and a half at least, or until my hands get tired of typing? I guess if it doesn't, then I'll just type till my computer dies :) 

"You Alone Can Rescue" echoing through my head through my earbuds. "To you alone belongs the highest praise!!" Ahhmen Father! There's nothing like a good worship song that can pump oneself up.. I deleted most of my secular music from my Ipod when I arrived here. I can admit I haven't listened to anything, but there's that hesitancy to delete the stuff that doesn't shout praises to my Father in Heaven. Maybe there's a good tune that I enjoy listening to, or a song that I just love belting out.. I don't know all of the reasons for keeping them, but as I sit here and think about how I have no desire to listen to them here, why would I have any desire to listen to them when I leave? This place is different than any other, but truly, it's just a hotbox for my relationship with Christ, where I can grow without many distractions. So when I get back to my "normal" life, wouldn't I want to limit distractions all the more? Time to go through the Itunes list again, it looks like. 

Dying to self. Each day. I am so convicted all the time by the Holy Spirit! I was convicted to fast again, this time a bit longer, just to pray when I felt that pain or annoyance from hunger. To remind myself that I constantly rely on God. I cannot handle anything alone, and I get upset when I'm struggling because of trying to do that very thing. I need a good growling of the stomach to remind me of that. Today, I was thinking, that when I'm fasting, I think more of others. Sure, my prayers are something like, God fill me with you because I need You and You alone, but my actions are for others. Could it be because I'm trying to distract myself in any way I can? Could be. But if that's so, I like it. I like being able to serve without a thought of what I want done for me. Because really, at that time, all I want done is for my hunger cravings to be filled, and I know no one but God can fill that one! Fasting has so many benefits… 

Also, today, instead of going to breakfast I was able to spend an hour in devotions, just soaking up Genesis. This book, I tell you, is incredible. Such a good opener for a book. It's filled with action! All of these people, our ancestors, doing these crazy  things! Deceiving their own father to steal a brother's blessing, marrying cousins, prayers answered, and as I'm sure you know, the list surely goes on! Hook, line and sinker! I'll admit, I was so sucked in, I spent quite a bit of time reading more during class time. Sorry, Don :/ I still got a lot out of his teaching though! Learned quite a bit about Nehemiah. That guy just doesn't back down! And apparently, I am the same person as I was back in Washington, guys! So all you, worrying about how different I'll be.. No stress! I'm still as outgoing as ever! But spiritually, I have grown! Thank You God!! I can't wait to get back and share with everything what I've learned in my short time here at the ranch (It feels like I'm right at home, but yet, been here for such a short time!)! I'm praying to God that if I cannot explain in words, at least in actions, I may be able to demonstrate and pass on the miracles God is working in me! 

Ooh! Side-note.. (What am I saying? These are all side-notes! Welcome to the brain of Shaylene.. For real!) Check out online, or on Itunes (Podcasts) Pastor Levi Lusko from Freshlife Church in Kalispell Montana. This guy I tell you, has a gift straight from the Lord Himself. He captivates the audience, brings the Bible down to our level, while still hitting the nail on the head. Nothing is avoided with his messages.. Straightforward, much needed to hear Ouch! moment teachings that leave you wanting to do radical things for Christ! 

I don't know much, but I do know this… I want to truly count everything a loss compared to knowing Christ my Lord, as Paul writes in a few of his letters, so I'm going to get to it, and light my butt on fire for Him! Got to get to the Word, and prayer! Love you all! Hope to get more of these up.. They're enjoyable to write.. these blogs I mean! Later ya'll!

IBS-What Comes Naturally..

Sept. 6, 2011

Ephesians 4:28

"Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need."

Work to oppose your wicked ways. Rather than doing mean things with your hands and mouth, work to do the exact opposite. Instead of stealing, work to do good for others, giving to them when they're in need, as this verse suggests. Instead of slandering your brother, speak good things of them, build them up. Instead of hurting a brother, aid them. This verse is a suggestion for us to work against our flesh. To fight what comes naturally. In this way you will be kicking the devil out of you, for he loves to use our flesh against our spirit. In no way will he be able to find a nook in your heart, and will have difficulty even entering in when he sees you're not following him, so full of the Holy Spirit, and obedient to God instead. 

I want to do the opposite of my natural flesh's reactions. I want to serve others instead of thinking I need to be served. I want to make a conscious effort to deny the flesh, and resist the devil, doing good for my brothers and sisters when they're in need. Of anything, no matter how small the act of service. I want my body to truly be a place for the Holy Spirit to thrive, and therefore, emanate through me.

IBS-No Room for the Devil

Sept. 5, 2011

Ephesians 4:27-32

"nor give place to the devil"

This verse in Ephesians, clearly says to not give place to the devil. Most would skim over this, placing an imaginary check next to the verse. Don't let the devil dwell in you. Isn't it that simple? I don't worship the devil, or allow him to persuade you to do evil things. That you are conscious of. Now wait a minute, let's run through a common situation: You are inside on a beautiful summer day, working on your taxes: they're due tomorrow. You're a bit stressed because of your time crunch, and bitter from the fight you had with your spouse the night before. You hear neighborhood children outside screaming and laughing, soaking up the bright, warm sun. All of the sudden you hear a huge CRASH followed by some screams, and then silence. You run to the front room, to see your front window shattered, and laying in jigsaw pieces all over your living room floor. One's immediate reaction to this added stress, is anger. But allowing that anger to flourish and explode from your mouth would be allowing the devil to take residence in your mind, and do as he would please. This is not of God, but clearly of satan. These are small things that we don't often give the time of day to. Things that are of the devil, small situations, big reactions, someone hurt at the end. Allowing the sun to go down on your wrath from the night before doesn't help either. The devil has been stirring evil in your heart from before, so this incident was just piggy-backing on what contempt was there before. The devil works this way. He is quick to act, and quick to snowball his works until, subconsciously you are doing the very thing you didn't think was possible for you. Giving place to the devil. He works through your hot temper, your snappy attitude and selfish ambition, all things that have built from giving him snippets of your mind over the years; allowing him to reside.

I need to be slow to anger. I need to think, not with selfishness and pride, but handle situations with humility, asking the Lord "What Would Jesus Do". It's going to be hard to kick the old habits, but I desire to not allow the devil to take residency within my heart, and to renew in me a pure heart, solely for glorifying God.

IBS-Setting Sun

Sept. 2, 2011

Ephesians 4:26

"Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath,"

I read this with a heavy heart. I think of the many times I have gone to sleep angry and bitter. Crying out to God in my bed, worn down, and hurt. The next morning, rolling out of bed, feeling like I was just hit by a freight train, the thoughts from the night before weighing on my body and mind. It affects the whole of my day.. Someone asks, "How are you this morning?"  and I can't hide behind make-up, so I moan about how terrible my morning has been. When truthfully, my "bad morning" is the result of a night spent in wrath. When I let my anger take hold my night and I don't give it to God, when I don't let His peace be my center emotion, I am allowing that anger time to build. It burrows itself down in my heart, the negative thoughts taking root , growing until they overwhelm me. Then, do I cry out to my Savior, for freedom. He is so gracious. Even when He gives me forewarning, His word, to not allow that anger to settle, and I go against it, He's still there to lift me when I'm on my knees. 

I need to ask God, each night, to cleanse my heart of whatever has been bothering me that day. Whatever has settled, to not allow it to expand, and give it to Him. Even if it is something small, I don't want to go to bed angry, but to be in God's perfect place of peace.

IBS-Speak Truth

September 1, 2011

Ephesians 4:25

"Therefore putting away lying, 'Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,' for we are members of one another.

"..putting away lying." I am convicted when I read these words, especially when I read the following part of this verse: "speak truth with his neighbor". This doesn't convict me because I am an uncontrollable liar. Not because I am untruthful, or filled with deceit, but because I read into this as meaning to be honest with our brothers and sisters in Christ. To tell them the truth behind my actions, and reveal to them my troubled thoughts. To not keep these thoughts inside, and allow the jealousies and frustrations to flourish. "..for we are members of one another": We are one as a body of Christ. We shouldn't harbor unkempt thoughts toward one another, even if they are caused by one's own character. I am guilty of getting upset about something someone might do, and in order to avoid confrontation I will keep the frustrations inside, and allow them to fester. Sometimes this is good, in order to let me think about what has happened, and determine what truly caused it: their thoughtlessness, or my selfishness. But other times the problem eats at me. It eats at my thoughts, and effects my attitude, my daily life. It puts me in a frustrated stupor where I can't do anything but mope. This isn't something I should allow to happen. I should put away the lies of my mouth and the false acts of my body while my mind thinks opposite thoughts, in a whirlwind of confusion between spirit and mind.

I need to seek God upon what I let get to me. I need to lift it up to Him, seeking discernment as to whether these things should be confronted. To know, when these things happen, to bring them to my fellow sibling in honesty, and love, or, instead, change my heart towards them and get rid of my own selfishness that could be the cause.

IBS-New Man

August 31, 2011

Ephesians 4:24

"..and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."

God has already created a new man for me to be. One that is righteous and holy in His eyes. God doesn't see me for my mistakes and failures, or anything I have done in the flesh. He sees me for who He created me to be. One, covered by the  blood of Christ, my sins and flaws washed away by the sacrifice He made. Pure and blameless in His sight. If God did this for me, wouldn't I want to do everything to have a healthy flourishing relationship with Him? 

I want to put on the new man. I want to cleanse my heart with His word, and my mind with His Spirit. I want to be immersed in His word, and in His truth. I want to train myself to wake up every morning and spend about an hour in meditation and prayer with Jesus, so I can be filled with Him, in the morning, every day.

IBS-Renewed

August 30, 2011

Ephesians 4:23

"..and be renewed in the spirit of the mind,"

When your body is exhausted, you take a nap, or relax until you can become energized and healthy again. In this way your physical body is "renewed".. Except it's not. Your body just goes through recuperation, and sooner or later, with more work and toil, it's worn down again. So repeats the process. In this way, the mind seems to go too. But the mind, however, doesn't have to work this way, God says. In these verses, He promises you will be renewed in the spirit of the mind if you put off your former conduct. I believe God was intending for one to not just be patched up, or refreshed for a period of time, but to be made wholly new: "Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." The more we have of Him, the more our minds will flourish, being renewed, and healthy, being constantly in fellowship with Him.

I need to be in constant fellowship with Christ. I need to make sure to spend time in the word every morning, no matter how busy my schedule. And I need to be in constant prayer during the day, taking "every thought captive to the obedience of Christ", and applying God's word in my heart and action throughout my day.