Sept. 10, 2011
Ephesians 4:32
"And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you."
This is something I have been struggling with since I first got here. Forgiveness. Most times I am able to forgive without a second thought, giving reasoning behind another's actions, and seeing eye-to-eye. There is one person in particular though, that for quite some time I have felt bitter against. Whenever I share the story of my afflictions with this person with anyone at the ranch I end up in tears. It has torn me apart from the beginning. This person once had an intense relationship with Christ, leading me to accept Him as my Lord and Savior. For some reason, they seemed to have a fallout, not wanting to talk about the gospel, attend church, or reach others with His love. This has hurt me and many others they know deeply, and we've often expressed our concern for them, with sadness in our hearts. When I was at home, I never thought I could voice the things I've experienced with this person, but since being at the ranch I have learned so much. Some of the trials I have gone through while my short time here have been connected to this denied forgiveness on my part. From previous IBS verses I have felt conviction of the need to treat this person better, to lift them up, edify them, show them the true love of God, and that His love really is radical, and so worth every part of us.
I want to talk to this person. I can't wait until I return home, and can have a deep talk with them, and pour out what has been on my heart for so long. I want to tell them I forgive them for everything they've done, and apologize for the way I have treated them in my bitterness and refusal of forgiveness. If they are reading this, and they know clearly it's for them, I pray they'll give me a call, so I can talk to them and tell them how much I truly do love them.
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